EMDAS 2011 - October (A Vacancy in the Upstairs Room) Entry Thread

This month's theme is "A Vacancy in the Upstairs Room".
"The most 'valuable' brains are the most unused ones! For this month's theme, include the concept of idiocy, stupidity, foolishness, brainlessness, or just general incompetence. Or, if you can pull it off, try to do it to the reader! - lordshadowisle

Entries must be submitted by October 22 (check countdown). You are permitted to post drafts and updates on this page; to submit a final copy, update the post with Final Entry written along with it. Once you have done this, you are not allowed to edit your entry any further, so be sure to fully proofread it before doing so.